Choose to BE the Mother You Are- Part I

Published August 16, 2013 by uncommonmommy

In hesitancy there is always inefficiency.

Adults often ask children what they want to be when they grow up.  I had a lot of colorful ideas when I was young, but most consistently my answer was, “I want to be a stay-at-home-mom.”

No one took me seriously.  How could I aspire to be so little?

I couldn’t think of anything else more important, and as I got older, there was nothing I was more grateful for than when my mom gave up working outside the home.

That was a big decision for her, and I think she always viewed it as a necessary sacrifice instead of a conscious choice.  I believe my mom felt slighted by motherhood for most of her life, and I carried those same beliefs with me when I became a mom.

It was a message received in many ways from various people: Being a mom isn’t enough.

You have to do more.  Be more.  You need to contribute to the family finances.  You should have a part time job, or a job from home.  Volunteering is a waste of time.  You’re freeloading off your husband.  Cooking, cleaning and raising kids is not a full time job.

Why I believed those statements for so long is beyond me.  My constant search for something outside of being a mom dramatically effected my ability to be a good wife and parent.  I was fulfilling the role, but there was no joy in it.  I had no faith in my own importance.  Why?

My husband and I talked through our options and chose this one.  He supports this decision.  By cooking all our meals, we save money (and our health).  Cloth diapers and breastfeeding save money.  Growing our own food saves money.  Focusing on my children and teaching them how to actively engage with the people and the world around them saves them the hassle of twenty plus years on a dead end path.

Being a stay-at-home-mom is important.  And, it is a choice.

Once you realize this, it becomes easier to commit to that choice.  To wholeheartedly embrace it.  To welcome each day with open arms and know today is the day you will do amazing, important work.  To know there is nowhere else you need to be.

When we stop wavering and become consciously committed to our decisions the Universe provides all we need to achieve our goals.

Or as Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe so elegantly put it:

Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative and creation, there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now

4 comments on “Choose to BE the Mother You Are- Part I

  • Good Morning, Gerrianne! Well, I find myself up this morning at 4 a.m. And have read your 3 latest posts. I love them all. You are a great writer, and an awesome Mommy. I admire you for the work that you do each and every day. How fortunate you and your children are to have the experience of each other. So many Moms see their children only scant hours a day, when they are depended upon to supply supplemental income for their families. For the choice you and Eric have made, I know you and your children will be forever thankful. They will never forget Mommy being their for them at just the perfect time in their lives. Who better to kiss a boo-boo than Mommy?

    • Thank you! I absolutely agree with you. Some moms feel forced into motherhood and never stop to consciously choose it and embrace it. When we do, it changes how we think of ourselves and our children. Lightens the load.

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